I haven’t done a Sh*t My Family Sent Me in some time now, since I
think my family is on to my shenanigans or something, because I haven’t
been getting nearly as many stupid email forwards in a while. But maybe
this makes up for it— some secretary (Shannon) lost her cat and so asks
the graphic designer (David) to whip up a poster for her that she can
put up on telephone poles and whatnot, and their email exchange is epic
and hilarious. From 27bslash6 via Jezebel
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has
been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you
could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and
put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy
and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street
and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although
I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of
course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the
speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster
yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely
emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it
is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do
it in colour please. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I
would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions
otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come
downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and
look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per
your instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the
whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy
off it? I just want it to say Lost.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word
lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her
name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early
today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww
Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a
friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and
explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended
version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww
Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww
I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one
of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out
of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I
did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do
you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly
veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Please just use the photo I gave you.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did
you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you
please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to
leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do.
Subject: Clueless secretary with a missing cat prompts the most hilarious email exchange 
Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:57 pm
