Squad who say ni... haha.

____________
| |
| Scene 13 |
|____________|

[spooky music]
[music stops]
HEAD KNIGHT OF NI: Ni!
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!
RANDOM: Ni!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
BEDEVERE: Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Peng, and Neee-wom!
RANDOM: Neee-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who
lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Ni!
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!...
ARTHUR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Ow! Oh!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass
through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair,
and we will return with a
shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIGHT: Now... go!

___
_________
| |
| Scene 19 |
|____________|

ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?
HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. But
there is one small problem.
ARTHUR: What is that?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'.
KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Shh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-
zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'.
RANDOM: Ni!
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til Recently Said 'Ni'?
HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!
RANDOM: Ni!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here
beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect
with a little path running down the middle.
KNIGHTS OF NI: A path! A path! A path! Ni! Shh! Ni! Ni! Ni! Shh!
Shh!...
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the
mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please!
ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.
KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Augh! Ohh! Don't say that word.
ARTHUR: What word?
HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of
Ni
cannot hear.
ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?
KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: You said it again!
ARTHUR: What, 'is'?
KNIGHTS OF NI: Agh! No, not 'is'.
HEAD KNIGHT: No, not 'is'. You wouldn't get vary far in life not saying 'is'.
KNIGHTS OF NI: No, not 'is'. Not 'is'.
BEDEVERE: My liege, it's Sir Robin!
MINSTREL: [singing] Packing it in and packing it up,
And sneaking away and buggering up,
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.
ARTHUR: Sir Robin!
ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you.
HEAD KNIGHT: Now he's said the word!
ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?
MINSTREL: [singing] He is sneaking away and buggering up--
ROBIN: Shut up!
; No, no. No. Far from it.
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again!
KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!
ROBIN: I was looking for it.
KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!
ROBIN: Uh, here-- here in this forest.
ARTHUR: No, it is far from this place.
KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word! The word...
ARTHUR: Oh, stop it!
KNIGHTS OF NI: ...we cannot hear!
HEAD KNIGHT: Ow! He said it again!
ARTHUR: Patsy!
HEAD KNIGHT: Wait! I said it! I said it!
[clop clop clop]
Ooh! I said it again! And there again! That's three 'it's! Ohh!
KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!


Just thought it'd be fun...

THe movie is one of th most awesomeist in the world

Haha Dingo I'll have you know I didn't have to look up that script... I had it on my computer. And yes, very great movie.

You're welcome Pschuda for that fabulous script.

Yes all of monty python's work is the best

Yes, fabulous Dax sent it to me a year or 2 ago. didn't take me long to find it.