The Laugh Lab

OK everyone as the title suggests, Post any and all jokes here

Just try to keep them somewhat clean

Here I'll start
A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over
on I-95 just south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the
Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding,

The driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on
his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and
didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the
driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a
ticket.

The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on
ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol
car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit
them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a weaving car pulled in behind
the patrol car. A drunk, good old boy, from S.C., got out and watched
the performance briefly. He then went over to the patrol car, opened the
rear door and got in.

The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car,
opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there's
no way in hell I can pass that test."

wow, well atleast the drunk has some common sense

Haha. Heres one:

A Dingo walks into a bar. Ouch!

wanna hear a dirty story??

a little boy fell in the mud

Can we rename this sticky to Corny Corner?

no.. it has umm nostalgia reasons.. romeo will know what i mean..

What Do People With ADD Go Over The Summer?
Concentration Camp :P

Vixen wrote:

no.. it has umm nostalgia reasons.. romeo will know what i mean..

These are some jokes from a song, i find the song hilarious!!!
ask em fi you want the song. Its called bad jokes-prairie home copmpaninon.
You might not get some of the others in the song.

Gramps turned 80 the other day,
He never did find his way.
He dressed up in a brand new suit,
Sitting in a big lawn chair.
When a beautiful young naked woman,
Stood up in front of the group.
She offered gramps some super sex ,
And he said, "I'll take the soup!"

Olie went to the neighborhood dance,
And he won the big door prize.
Was a toilet brush,
And he took it home.
And the next week one of the guys,
Said, "Olie, how's that toilet brush,
The one you won from the neighbors?"
Olie said, "Oh, it works pretty good,
but I prefer toilet paper."

Did anyone know diarrhea was hereditary? It runs in your jeans

'nuff said...

Wat a waste of a new car

oh the pics I could Post about those... Dingo..

Toyota: Moving Forward Even If You Don't Wunna Pic-Unrelated

A man on his harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice God said, because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over any time I want. God replied, your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, think of the steel it would take. I can do this but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a minute and think of something that could possibly help man kind. The biker thought, finally he said, God I wish all men could understand women, how she feels, what shes thinking, why she cries, what she means when she says something is wrong, why she snaps and how to make her truly happy. God replied, you want two lanes or four on that bridge?

hahahahaha, thats great pete

My Dad Told Me This About A Coach On Another Team(Baseball)
He Needs To Go Take A Long Walk Down A Short Dock

i got a couple..

The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the fresh smell of rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh butter fat. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens crackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying. So far i have been too afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle.


xD


A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business!

The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money so you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and aked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."




I'm a huge saints fan. and love this joke. found it in this old book my old pastor wrote a long time ago when i went to church.


Peyton manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3 story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous saints logo flag, and in every window. a New Orleans Saints towel. Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, i hold many NFL records, and i even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what's your point Peyton?" "Well why does Drew Brees get a bigger house than me?" God chuckled and said "Peyton, that's not Drew's house, it's mine."

The new eclipse movie from the twilight saga is coming, time for everyone to watch there favorite 107 year old virgin!

Being forced to go to the premiers many times by a certain gf, i've noticed many "twilight" moms saying they love edward. 40 year old women scrambling over each other for a 17 year old guy, if it was th other way around, someone might call the police o_O

Our honorable leader showed me this:

lmfao...thats funny rom

Haha! Great one Kyle!

another picture sent to me:

HAHA Nice Romanian,
Sad enough that about sums it up...

SarahBeth wrote:

HAHA Nice Romanian,
Sad enough that about sums it up...

glad to know your political views

Yes, it is sad...