The Laugh Lab

lmfao xD poor owl

here is a joke, how many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb


just two but the hard part is getting in the light bulb

lol

found this one online

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

haha! nice one.

haha romeo thats great!

This one will rock all the others XD

Alright so this blonde got her hair dyed brown,and she was right happy about it so she got into her car and decided to drive down the highway. Along the way she notices a farm with sheep and a farmer leaning on his fence. She pulled over to the side,got out and approached the farmer.
"If i can guess how many sheep you have in the field can i have one?"
The farmer looks at her,then back to the field.
"Alright lass,go ahead"
She thinks for a moment,staring into the field and then states her answer.
"136"
The farmer looks at her shocked.
"Yea thats right,go ahead n take one"
So the blonde,goes and picks out a sheep,and puts it into her car and gets in. Just as she starts it and puts it into gear the farmer comes up to the door and taps on it,she rolls down the window,and the farmer states:
"If i can guess your true hair color,can i have my damn dog back?"

Tell me what ya all think,ill post more when i remember em.

Three Ions Are Sitting In A Bar,
One Goes "I'm Negative"
The Other One Goes "Are You Sure"
The Last One Goes "I'm Positive"

Nice one artoymn

LOL, I like most of those I got a few pictures. xD

I'm sorry for the people who lives in NY.



and..

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender the price of a drink,to which the bartender responds:
"Ah for you,no charge"

We're punny :]

Artoymn wrote:

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender the price of a drink,to which the bartender responds:
"Ah for you,no charge"

lol.

Artoymn wrote:

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender the price of a drink,to which the bartender responds:
"Ah for you,no charge"

I've got a twist on this one lol.

A neutron goes into a bar and the bartender asks what it would like to drink. The neutron responds "Whatever's fine, I'm neutral."

NV wrote:

Artoymn wrote:

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender the price of a drink,to which the bartender responds:
"Ah for you,no charge"

I've got a twist on this one lol.

A neutron goes into a bar and the bartender asks what it would like to drink. The neutron responds "Whatever's fine, I'm neutral."

lmao,thats a good one,never heard that one before

Artoymn wrote:

NV wrote:

Artoymn wrote:

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender the price of a drink,to which the bartender responds:
"Ah for you,no charge"

I've got a twist on this one lol.

A neutron goes into a bar and the bartender asks what it would like to drink. The neutron responds "Whatever's fine, I'm neutral."

lmao,thats a good one,never heard that one before

haha I hope you hadn't heard it before, I made that up on the spot after reading yours

Lol,well thats probably why i havent heard of it XD Nice job then

A blonde went in to an applience store she asked the clerk how much is this tv? the clerk says we dont sell to blondes! so she goes out and dies her hair brown goes back and asks how much is the tv? he says we dont sell 2 blondes so she goes out and dies her hair black and goes back in and asks the same question he says im sorry mam we dont sell to blondes she says how do u no im a blonde? he answered bacause thats not a tv its a microwave!..............i no its pretty corny but???there like MAJOR STUPID welll most are !!! some r cool!!!

Artoymn wrote:

Lol,well thats probably why i havent heard of it XD Nice job then

Thanks bro

This joke may be suitable for minors under the age of 13, use cation while reading this joke may contain value inappropriate substanced.

Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.
Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Cat Woman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman na*ed on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have s*x, and be out again before she knew what was happening."
So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.
Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Woman said: "Did you hear something?"
"No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my a** hurts like hell!"

ROFL!!!!! nice one metal!

Romanian wrote:

ROFL!!!!! nice one metal!

hehe thanks friend told me that one.

lol ive heard that one before,but it never gets old so its still funny,lol nice